As I was walking home from the Divine Comedy show tonight, I ran into a couple of guys walking a few yards in front of me. They were walking slightly slower than I was, so I was presented with the options of either a) slowing down, or b) speeding up to pass them. I tried to speed up so I could pass them before we reached a sidewalk with a bunch of cars parked on the side of it (a no-pass zone, if you will), but they were walking just fast enough that I would have been walking alongside them for maybe two seconds, which would have been really awkward. My pass attempt failed. I ended up walking behind them for a couple of minutes.
This gave me some time to plan out my line of attack. There was an opening a little way ahead, so I had an opportunity to jump ahead of them. The critical moment came, and I geared up for my attack. I sped up my pace, almost to the point of race-walking, and prepared to pass these two guys. However, the opening was a lot shorter than I'd anticipated, so I found myself walking right behind these guys with nowhere to go. Now what do I do? I can't stay right behind these guys - that's just not going to work. How far back do I have to walk so that I won't be too close, yet still be able to walk at a decent pace? I decided one shadow's length ought to do it. The only problem with this was that it was dark out, so all the light was provided by street lamps. As I moved toward or away from them, my shadow length changed. I was constantly readjusting my distance from these two guys, closer, and then further away, and then closer again.
The best part was that these guys thought they were the funniest people on earth. They kept making what I'm sure they thought were witty observations on life, such as, "You know how girls always get louder when they aren't being funny because they think it makes them funnier? Just like you! Ha!" I got to endure revelations on life like these for a good three minutes while I waited for another opening to come up. Finally it did, and I beat a hasty retreat away from these two guys.
Such is my life.
- Optimistic.
3 comments:
I'm so glad I am not adverse to 'busting' through people in an attempt to pass them while walking. It makes life easier, and I don't have to listen to stupid people as much...although I think that listening to people is one of the greatest things about walking around on campus.
You seem to be getting into this nicely. Don't worry too much about my blog entries, they're usually much angstier then my real life persona. But I sorta stopped reading before you got on there. I should get back on at some point, but it may take a little bit.
I would have slithered between then and continued walking at a decidedly fast pace. Of course I do weird things like slither through groups of people.
Man, I hate people who think they're clever.
Clever: Saying "Top of the morning to ye" to me, as you pass me, and you're someone I know when I'm dressed all gothy and it's in the late afternoon. This is clever because it's not even acknowledging the fact that I'm dress goth, but it is something you would say to someone dressed in garb.
Not clever: Yelling "Happy Halloween!" to me from halfway across Brigham Square when I am dressed all gothy and you're not someone I know and it's not Halloween yet, idiot.
I guess it takes a certain amount of incongruity or something.
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