Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Post #2

I've been thinking about this for the past few...units of time...and now that I finally have a forum in which to discuss this, I think I'm just going to let all of my thoughts out on it.

I'm sick of indirectness in dating, relationships, and the whole shot. I just think it's ridiculous. I've been involved in it for as long as I can remember, and to me, it just seems to make everything much harder. I hate having to analyze everything I've said to Girl after talking to her and scrutinizing every last detail of everything she said to me, all of her body language, voice inflections, etc., to see if she's really interested in me or not. I would much prefer a society in which we could be much more open about how we feel and not be so all-fired afraid of expressing ourselves.

To be clear, I'm not demanding a society in which a guy walks up to a girl and tells her something along the lines of:

Guy: Hey, you're hot.
Girl: Why yes, I am. I notice you are also attractive.
Guy: I am. We should really date one another.
Girl: I concur.
[they make out like crazed weasels]

This isn't realistic at all, I know. Rather, I'd prefer a life where I could tell a girl that I like spending time with her and would like to spend more time with her so as to get to know her better. I feel like girls (and probably guys) are scared by this, thinking that they have to commit to a relationship right now if s/he says that and they have to start planning out their wedding soon and who are we going to get to do the flowers and there's so many people I want to invite to the wedding but I don't have the money to send that many cards and what are we going to name our children and there's just not enough TIME!!!

So I generally keep my mouth shut. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should try this with someone sometime and see how things work. Maybe if I post things like this on enough forums, people will start to read it, the idea will spread, and soon, I won't have to worry about sending the right signals. Ah, what a wonderful world that would be.

On a side note, I notice that I have a completely different writing style and voice when I write things of a more philosophical nature. I wonder why that is.

- Optimistic.


bawb said...

My opinion of you has changed more than of anyone on blue-beta since meeting you, and consistently for the better; basically everything you say is clever or insightful. I mean, heck, I thought The Huntsman was Petra or The Franchise. That's high praise right there. Keep up the interesting thoughts.

Asmond said...

Uhm...May I just say the fact that you used weasels as people who make out, made me laugh.

the pope said...

I knew this was you! The name phil just threw me off for a few days. Anyway, I would just like say that I completely concur with your musings. I think that everyone is afraid and for that reason no one is honest. That's why I want to develop mind reading skills. So far, it isn't working.
You know who I am, because you and your roommates gave me this identity.

Optimistic. said...

There may be nothing cooler than the fact that the pope herself is posting on my humble blog. Welcome, welcome, Your Holiness. I'm more pleased than you can imagine that you are who you are.

The Lolita said...

>>I would much prefer a society in which we could be much more open about how we feel and not be so all-fired afraid of expressing ourselves.<<

Here here! Ot is it hear hear, I never really new. It's probably the latter, that makes more sense.

Anyway. I'm glad you finally got a blog. Because like I said, I'd read it. And I AM reading it.

Optimistic. said...

For what it's worth, my dear Redoubt, I'm glad you're reading it.

Pranzo said...

Yeah, it's not that I totally don't agree with you, but I find the idea of being totally open a bit absurd. Maybe that's because every time I'm open I get burned.

The "games" and "signals" are all a form of self-defense. Personally, I would rather be outwardly shallow than get emotionally burned because my sentiments are not shared. But that's just me.

Muggle Wizard said...

You are very much on target with this (and your other) post(s). It is refreshing to find someone who thinks somewhat like I do. Now you've got me starting up my own blog and I can consume some more of my time on it. :)

But, really, I've had some really rewarding experiences dealing with women. The only downside is, I have yet to find a relationship that actually works. And it's exactly because of the communication problem you are discussing.

Going into a particularly promising relationship seems to lead both guys and girls to make the conclusion "this is it!" Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. I still wonder what it will be like when I find the relationship that really is "it".

lanada said...

quick backstory: hadn't been on 100 hour board in AGES (oh, i missed it!), found link here, read blog, end.

you reminded me of something a friend of mine said. "i really wish i could just say to a girl, 'i dig you, i think you dig me, let's just hang out and dig each other and see where things go.' i wish i could say that." so do i...except replace girl with boy. why can't we do that, optimist? why??

in other news, you amuse me. i think we would be friends.