Monday, November 07, 2005

post the eighteenth

Last night, some old friends of mine invited me over for dinner. I had to work until 7:30 or so, but I got over there in time for some pumpkin pie. We ended up sitting around talking about music - we're all from upstate New York and listened to the same radio station in high school (WBER 90.5 FM, if you're interested), so we all share similar tastes. After that for a while, we played some word games, watched parts of Anchorman, and just enjoyed one another's company. I tell you what, it was really nice. I felt completely relaxed around these people. I've known them for years, so I didn't have to worry about impressing them or making sure that they wouldn't laugh at me. It's a nice feeling, and one that I don't always feel around people. For whatever reason, I'm always terrified that people I talk to are going to think that I'm stupid and will think less of me. I fret about coming off wrong, especially since I always seem to. If I act like myself around people that I don't know especially well, they always seem to give me a weird look and then quickly change the subject. I don't know why that is. It makes me a little uncomfortable, though, so I put on my fake personality and hope to survive the encounter.

Goodness, that turned out a little darker than I'd intended it to. I just meant to say that I really enjoyed having a music party with my friends last night. I imagine one or more of them will read this, too, so hello. Thanks for the pie, it was wonderful.

- Optimistic.


The Lolita said...

>>I've known them for years, so I didn't have to worry about impressing them or making sure that they wouldn't laugh at me.<<

I find this interesting, particularly because knowing me for longer amounts of time makes it more likely for my "friends" to laugh at me. And I defintiely mean AT me.

Meh, I'll now go elsewhere and stop plaguing your blog with anti-socialness.

Kris Trevyn said...

I think lots of people feel this way. I used to have like 6 different personalities for all sorts of different situations. Then I went to England and I was so excited to be there that I forgot to keep my fake personalities and I just was me the whole time. It was mighty refreshing. So now I try to keep doing that here, even though it is hard sometimes.

Th. said...


Geez. So much for a pickmeup by following this Optimist link.

On the bright side, at least you arrived in time for pie.

jambarama said...

I finally made it over here. I may know the friends of whom you speak. These friends thank you for your kind entry towards them.

I also may know something about the pumpkin pie which you partially consumed. There was no sugar in it. Actually there was some, but not a third of what the recipe called for. That was the problem. Not spices, or what-have-you, pretty embarassing when you can't follow the directions on a can.

I wrote a letter of discontent to the Collegiate Post. The latest issue, entitled "globalization" is outrageously one sided and silly. So I told them so. I sent it to the editor and the generic email address. I'd be entertained to hear how they receive it, if your friend (and my acquiantance) happens to mention something about it. I was kind of grumpy and tried to temper my infuriation, but in the end it was hopeless.