Tuesday, April 17, 2007

(untitled 143)

Today's action daydream:

In light of the recent events at Virginia Tech, everyone at my high school was on their guard in case a copycat assailant should show up. It turned out I was the first one to see him walking through the parking lot. It's fortunate that I was observing other teachers today, since my usual classroom doesn't have any windows. This one looked out directly over the parking lot. He didn't seem especially intimidating when I first got a look at him - just a scrawny kid who happened to be dressed in black and toting a submachine gun. At first, I wasn't sure what to do. Should I run and tell the main office? What happens if he seems me in the hall, though? I'd be gone for sure, but someone needs to know so we don't lose dozens of students. After a moment of indecision, I get up and head to the door. No sooner do I reach to open the door, however, than I realize that he's on the other side, trying to get in. It's a heavy door, so I know he won't be able to shoot through it. This emboldens me, convincing me to push the door shut on him. He manages to get the barrel through the crack of the door, pointing it around wildly and trying to shoot anyone he can. My mind is clear, however, as I calmly instruct students (and the teacher) to stand against the walls and out of the line of fire. I surprise him by pulling the door open, causing him to fall on the floor. A wide-eyed look of disbelief comes over his face as the gun slips falls from his grip and comes to rest under my waiting foot. "Not on my watch," I declare.

Instantly, I'm a national hero. I have single-handedly prevented a second school shooting in as many days, and a grateful nation lines up to congratulate me. My face is all over the news. President Bush extends a personal message of gratitude and names a county in Kansas after me. Word gets out that I'm an aspiring teacher looking for a job, and districts across the country line up to offer me teaching positions. After all, what greater qualification can there be for a teacher than of saving students' lives?

When I came back to reality, however, I found out that a student in my regular classes had a seizure, and that my cooperating teacher was tending to him. Turns out he's the real hero in this school.


lanada said...

kansas? seriously?

the pope said...

this is disturbing on all kinds of levels.