Tuesday, June 27, 2006

post the eightieth

The title is not a typo. Post the seventy-ninth does not exist.

I had a request to show Run Lola Run for Indie Movie Night tomorrow, so I needed to get up to the Orem Public Library to get it (as that's the one place around here that I know carries it). For those of you not familiar with the Provo-Orem area, it's about ten minutes from my apartment by car. However, I am currently without car, as my sister uses it to get to and from work. My place of employment is close enough that I can walk without too much trouble at all. Generally I wait until my sister gets home from work to run errands like this, but today I was feeling adventurous. Robert Poste just moved out and left his bike with me for the summer. I thought it might be fun to take a bike ride up to the library. The weather was nice, and the library wasn't that far away.

As it turns out, I made a huge mistake.

When I was in Japan, I rode my bike all the time. It got to the point where I could ride for long distances without much of a problem at all. I foolishly assumed that I could still do that. Clearly, such was not true. Not only was that two years ago, but it was also in a place that had an elevation of maybe a hundred feet above sea level or so. Biking up a huge hill in a town that is right at the foothills of mountains is an entirely different experience, and I found that out in a hurry. I was breathing pretty heavily within a few blocks, and that was before I even got to the giant hill. I kept focused on the top, telling myself that it was only a little further. Not much further. You can do it. Just a little bit more, that's all. As long as I kept moving, I was in fine shape.

The problem came right at the top of the hill - right when I thought I'd made it through the worst of the ride. There was a stoplight right at the top, and I had the misfortune of hitting it at a red light. I stopped and took what felt a like a welcome break. No sooner had I stopped than my head got really light. A purplish film fell over my eyes, and everything got really faint and hard to see. I've only felt like that once before, and that was when I fainted just after getting a flu shot. (That's a story for a different day.) I knew something nasty was going to happen if I didn't sit down, and soon. As soon as I got off my bike to sit down, however, the light turned green. I got across the street as quickly as I could so I could throw the bike to the ground and collapse for a bit. This created a conflict for me. Exhaustion and light-headedness were telling me to lay down; however, a swiftly growing sense of nausea was telling me to get up quick so I could throw up. The light head, I decided, could wait a bit, as I scrambled to my knees so I could deal with the nausea first.

After throwing up, briefly, I sat on my knees and looked up for a moment, taking in my surroundings. I had chosen the intersection of two of the largest streets in the area to vomit, and, what's more, I had done so right in front of a mall. On my right, there was a young girl, maybe six years old, looking at me with a look of curiosity and horror from the window of an SUV. While I felt a little bad for her, I felt much better for having dealt with that nausea. Wow.

The rest of the trip was uneventful, really. I made it to the library perfectly fine, if not a little sweaty and out of breath. Master Fob was there to help me choose some books to read over the next few weeks. The movie I wanted was there. The most amazing part was the ride home. While getting to the library took me nearly an hour, the ride home was a paltry twenty minutes. My guess is that there was some sort of rift in the space-time continuum that made the ride to the library miles and miles longer somehow. Orem is a funny place.

So there you have it. Come and see Run Lola Run tomorrow at my place. 9:15. Email me if you need directions. And Katya, you'd better appreciate this movie, or else this whole trip will have been in vain.

7 comments:

Petra said...

Way to showcase your weakness for the whole internet to read. You're an inspiration to us all.

Squirrel Boy said...

That made me feel sick and weak in the knees just reading it. I can't even imagine riding up that hill while out of shape.

But take heart, Optimistic: that intersection is allegedly one of the busiest in the entire state.

Thirdmango said...

This rift in the space time continuum you speak of is a little thing we out of towners call downhill. Ha Ha. I am so clever. You know, I was in town all day with nothing to do, I easily could have given you a ride. I even called your phone which didn't work at one point in the day.

Katya said...

Thanks for getting the movie. Sorry it turned out to be so much trouble.

flippin said...

Dear Petra,

What else is a blog for?

Flippin (aka Somewhat Human, aka you already know who I am so why do I keep aka'ing myself?)

Paperback Writer said...

The fact that post the 79th doesn't exist reminds me of Wayside Stories!

the pope said...

HaHa. That is the best bike riding story I have ever heard. And your nerdiness is further cemented. Feel priveledged, this comment comes all the way from Africa.