Wednesday, May 13, 2009

(untitled 309)

I just started a new job, which is good in that it ends my nearly six months of unemployment. Unfortunately, it's a really crappy job, which is bad in that it's really crappy. I call people who partially fill out order forms online to see if they're still even a little interested in ordering the product. 98% of them aren't interested. They aren't happy that I'm pestering them, and frankly, I'm not happy to be pestering them. It's unpleasant for everyone involved.

As I was driving home, words like "reprehensible" and "predatory" kept running through my head. I really don't like being the guy who bothers you and wastes your time like that. As I stepped into the grocery store to pick something up for dinner, I decided to visit the bathroom for a moment. A horrible stench greeted me - apparently someone, clearly unfamiliar with the basic rules of restroom etiquette, had decided to defecate on the floor directly rather than the conventional method of using a toilet.

I looked sadly at the poop on the floor. "Today, I know just how you feel," I said.

What a day.

4 comments:

Laurie said...

Okay, I just laughed out loud at work. The times that happens are few. Thank you. And sorry for your crappy job.

Emily said...

OH HEY! Remember when I did that? I called to verify enrollment [filling out a form for FREE! stuff and clicking that you are "interested" in "education" because you have to clike something]in [super shady online] colleges. I hated it. Shadiest job ever.

Buuuuut, it paid.

Jenn said...

So sorry to hear about your job. Love your vocab choice. Thanks for making me smile today, Sam. Things can only go up from here.

H2 said...

don't worry. Mr. Webber is looking a little paler these days. if you give me the word I'll put him out of his misery and you can take his social studies job. if that fails we can always just hog tie him and you can pretend to be an oober liberal hippie with long hair and throat cancer.