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Esteemed Co-Worker and I were writing a letter in Japanese at work today. We were wondering how accurate our translation was, so just for laughs, we ran it through Google Translate. It does a passable job, usually, but Japanese is so different from English that it turned out pretty rough. Once we got the English version, we ran it through again to see what the Japanese would turn out like. After six or seven different recursions, the final product didn't even remotely resemble the original. Here's the original:

Dear Ms. Yoshida,

We appreciate your years of dedicated service working for SISEL International. We were very sorry to hear about your recent hospitalization. Our thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery.

If there is anything we can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask.

Your friends at SISEL International.

And here's the final product:

Yoshida Sumiko
A long time, please. , For us, the sizzle to thank you for working hard. To the hospital, but unfortunately you can listen. You have to recover quickly.
You are here, please do not hesitate to ask to hear.
Your friend,
Sizzle

Sometimes, playing with Google is just too much fun.

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WARNING WARNING WARNING THIS POST INVOLVES EMBRACING MY INNER GEEK

And now, presenting a list of theme songs from the Mega Man series that could also conceivably be heard at a rave or dance party:

Fire Man
Metal Man
Quick Man
Flash Man
Heat Man (questionable)
Wood Man (questionable)
Snake Man
Spark Man
Shadow Man
Pharaoh Man
Ring Man

Man, if you weren't playing the Mega Man games as a kid or currently holding a dance party for one to their music now, you really missed out.

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Is Wikipedia possibly the most entertaining website on the planet? Scientists agree that it is.

(Don't bother looking for the change on Wikipedia - the editors took it down within minutes.)

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It's been a couple of seasons since I attended BYU football games regularly, but I'm really glad we decided to go to this one. BYU blew the doors off of UCLA yesterday by the staggering score of 59-0. (Gratuitous shot of scoreboard courtesty of M-High.) Taken by itself, the game was pretty impressive. Quarterback Max Hall picked up seven touchdown passes - a BYU record - while the defense and special teams forced three turnovers that led directly to touchdowns. Not too shabby. But what was most impressive, in my opinion, was the crowd.

Normally, BYU home crowds are pretty sad. We tend not to cheer at the right times, don't really have a sense of how to disrupt an opponent, and love gimmicks. (The Wave is still popular at LaVell Edwards Stadium. Sigh.) The crowd really didn't have their heart in the first game, and it showed, as BYU allowed 17 points to I-AA Northern Iowa. This game, however, was different. Hall led BYU to a touchdown on the opening drive, and right from the onset, the crowd smelled blood. We were loud, excited, and got right in UCLA's face as the defense blocked a field goal on the Bruins' opening drive. What's more, the crowd stayed rambunctious the whole way through. The only time we faltered was when the cheerleaders started The Wave during one of our kickoffs, leading to a solid return from UCLA. We quickly atoned for the bad karma by yelling loud enough to force a UCLA fumble and set up a quick touchdown.

Here's what I was most proud of, though. With the clock winding down in the fourth quarter, UCLA put on a decent drive, getting close to the end zone. The game was already well in hand, with BYU up 59-0, so a UCLA score wouldn't have hurt things, but it was clear everyone there wanted a shutout. And with UCLA threatening to break that, the fans decided to take matters into their own hands. We shouted loud enough to break the Bruins' concentration and stop a pass that could have been a touchdown. We broke up a couple of other plays. And when it came down to the field goal attempt, everyone in that stadium yelled "BLOCK THAT KICK!" over and over until we watched it sail wide right.

I know most of it comes down to how the team itself plays, but had the crowd been as lackluster as it was for the Northern Iowa game, I'm convinced that ball would have gone in. As it was, I felt like I personally had contributed to a monumental victory. And I know that we as BYU fans can do the same game for every other home game. Personally, I don't plan to allow BYU to lose another game this season. I'm prepared to yell and scream loud and long enough to lose my voice for every home game if it means victories as big as this one.

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Last night, Genuine. and I were talking about sports (well, I was talking about it and she was listening politely, rather) and we started wondering what level of injury she would have to sustain in order for me to leave the game with her. The conversation went (roughly) as follows:

ME.: Wait, who's playing?
GENUINE.: Um, Brett Farve.
ME.: The Jets? Okay, what kind of injury do you have?
GENUINE.: Let's say I've been shot.
ME.: Someone shot you at a football game? Who would do that?
GENIUNE.: Winston Churchill?
ME.: A time-traveling Winston Churchill comes to a football game so he can shoot you.
GENUINE.: In the stomach.
ME.: In the stomach.
GENUINE.: Yes.
ME.: Who are the Jets playing?
GENUINE.: Um, the Packers.
ME.: Holy crap, not only can that matchup only happen in the Super Bowl, but that would be the queen mother of all grudge matches. Holy crap.
GENUINE.: I'm making this difficult for you on purpose, you realize.
ME.: It's working. Wow. Holy crap.
GENUINE.: Did I mention the score is tied with five minutes left?
ME.: Geeeeaaaaah! The score is tied?
GENUINE.: And I've been shot in the stomach.
ME.: Oh man. And it's the Super Bowl?

This went on. We started adding new hypotheticals. Would I leave the game if the EMTs said she would be alright and there was nothing more I could do? What if she was injured playing running back for the Jets? The Packers? Ultimately I decided I'd have to leave the game, but it wasn't an easy choice. (I mean, it's the Super Bowl! Come on! How did I even get Super Bowl tickets in the first place?)

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Genuine. and I have been working on getting our phone plan switched recently. In short, it involves me leaving the plan I had with my sister, she leaving the plan with her sister, and my joining a new plan with her number. Sounds simple enough, right? Of course, since cell phone companies are involved, it has been insanely difficult. I thought about writing a long, rambling post about how annoying it is to deal with cell phone companies, but I realized it would sound something like this:

BREAKING NEWS: CELL PHONE COMPANIES DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH
ALSO IN HEADLINES: WATER WET, POPE CATHOLIC, BEAR POOPS IN WOODS

So I decided to just leave it at that.